nanovivid

Could someone explain to me what the deal with MySpace comments is? I’ve been puzzling over this for days and feeling rather stupid about it. Are you supposed to reply to them? I don’t think you are, because I’ve never seen any replies and there’s no reply button. Yet sometimes people ask questions there. Is it just assumed that you’ll send them a message back? Or is it designed as one-way communication, like the guestbooks of old brought into the new millennium, now with 50% more obnoxious images?

I feel dumb for asking, but it’s been bothering me. Of course, maybe I’m just too old to get it. You know, those kids these days with their long hair, rock-n-roll music, and MySpace pages. Somebody please take pity on me and explain how it’s supposed to work.

♫ Goat Explosion - Come On, Make Me Feel

Bryan and I have a couple of friends who hail from the thriving metropolis of Wooster, Ohio. Growing up, both of them played this bizarre game called “Pass the Pigs,” where you roll two small plastic pigs as if they were dice. The roller then would score points based on how the pigs land.

Of course, this sounded completely insane to us, so we had a hard time believing them until Jason (one of the Woosterites) and his wife Lisa got us Pass the Pigs for Christmas. We’ve played a couple times and it’s actually a surprising amount of fun. Especially if you’re drinking at the time.

If you’d like to get in on the hot pig action, someone has created an in-browser version of Pass the Pigs. Now, it’s not nearly so fun as the real thing, but you can get an idea of how the game works.

And remember, you don’t want the pigs to touch! The game is very puritanical that way. Our copy of the game calls that an “Oinker,” but according to Audra, the other Woosterite, it was originally known as “Makin’ Bacon.” So keep your pigs under control. I think those are words by which we should all strive to live.

♫ Madonna - Get Together

This entry was supposed to be about Bryan’s Slutty Hillbilly’s Podcast. However, he’s pulled it from his site and won’t repost it, so you just have to imagine the funny. Yeah yeah yeah cheep booty!

♫ The Slutty Hillbilly's Podcast, Episode 1

Conversation in the car tonight:

Bryan: My name is Chicken Ass! Call me CHICKEN ASS!

Me: Chicken… Ass?

Bryan: CHICKEN ASS! Say it!

Me: Ok… Chicken Ass.

Bryan: No, like this: CHICKEN ASS!

Me: CHICKEN ASS!

Bryan: Yes!

♫ Kaskade - Feeling The Night

I’m not going to apologize for not blogging, because I’ve decided to stop feeling guilty about it. Lately it’s felt like a chore to write anything, and I don’t want my site to be something I feel obligated to work on. I think it’s better for my posts to be less frequent if I enjoy them more that way.

Now that my non-apology is out of the way, here are some things I’ve been up to recently:

• Redesigning Bryan’s site. It’s all raspberrylicious now. But you probably already knew that!

• Visiting Bostonia again and had a fabulous time with Jeremiah, Arthur, and RyanHarne.com. Highlight of the trip (apart from finally getting to meet Arthur): the crazy drunk guy that we saw twice on the T who told loud, disjointed stories about whatever crossed his mind, including the price of dry cleaning a shirt in the 1930s.

• Seeing Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (while in Boston). I absolutely loved it and recommend that you stop whatever you’re doing and go see it now. Seriously, put down that highly educational textbook and go rot your brain. It’s worth it.

• Learning Ruby by reading Why’s (Poignant) Guide to Ruby. It’s by far the most bizarre, original, and enjoyable programming book I’ve ever read. There are cartoon foxes, aliens, elves, and, yes, chunky bacon. Ruby seems like a pretty cool language, so I’ll probably figure out some sort of project to write just so I can learn it.

• Trying to get over a sinus infection-ish thing. Ugh.

• Not going biking like I wanted to because of said sinus infection-ish thing. Double ugh.

• Being way too entertained by the phrase “chunky bacon.” But really, it’s pretty fun. Try it!

Chunky. Bacon.

♫ Gus Gus - David

I was chatting with Courtney a bit ago and mentioned to her that all of Motorola’s (cool) new phones have four letter names (RAZR, SLVR, PEBL, ROKR). Of course, she couldn’t resist taking that to the place that any sane person would go and replied “yes, the new DAMN phone is really cool.”

That inspired us to think of some other names and purpose the phones would serve.

• HELL is for goths, bikers, and angry teenage girls who listen to Avril.

• The SHTR is for Gwen Stefani, since she wants us to be well aquainted with her shit.

• And FCKR… well, that’s for booty calls. Obviously.

Feel free to contribute your own Moto names. YEAH!*

* YEAH phone produced by Motorola exclusively for Lil’ Jon. God that was a cheap joke.

♫ Fischerspooner - A Kick In The Teeth

We made it safely to Bostonia and managed to get where we needed to go on the T without getting killed. (Bryan claims that the T stations are “where people get killed in the movies,” though I do have to admit that the new station at the airport is quite nice and unkillfull, which is totally a word.) After meeting up with Jermina, er, Jeremiah, we went to his apartment to drop off our stuff. I’m just a LITTLE jealous of the view from his bedroom. (I’m talking about the view out the window! You and your dirty mind.) He’s got a great vista of downtown Boston across the harbor.

After we had lunch, Jeremiah got his Verizon bill and realized that they had misspelled his name as “Jerminah,” so that’s his new nickname. It’s funny because it sounds like vagina!

Speaking of funny things, there were a couple of things that Bryan found so entertaining that he couldn’t stop laughing at them. During the afternoon while we were hanging around geeking out, we ran across a song called Shoot Your Shot in the iTunes Music Store. I think it was originally performed by the J. Geils Band. Or it could be James Brown. I just saw both of those turn up in a search and then decided that, well, I DON’T CARE. The point is that the version by Female Trouble & Mad’House (iTMS) is pretty funny sounding. Not only that, but Bryan thought it was exceedingly entertaining and couldn’t stop laughing at it. Did I mention that this was in the afternoon pre-drinking? Because it was, but don’t worry. The drinking happens in the next paragraph, so I’d suggest going there now!

Later on for dinner, we went to the amazing Top of the Hub. That place kicks so much ass. On Jermina’s (heh, it’s still funny!) suggestion I had a lobster salad sandwich that was the shiznit. (Yes, I just said shiznit. What are you going to do about it? Just deal, mkay?) Seriously, del-fucking-licious. Before the lobster salad (did I mention it was good?) we got martinis. I know this will surprise those of you who know Bryan, but he got a mocatini. And by surprise, I mean… not. Those of you who know Bryan also know that Bryan + alcohol = entertainment, and he didn’t disappoint. After finishing his martini, he noticed that there were coffee beans in the glass. The following conversation ensued:

Bryan: What are these crazy things? Me: Coffee beans. Bryan becomes incapacitated by laughter.

Later… Bryan: They look like little bug turds! More laughter.

For the rest of the evening, all we had to do was say “coffee beans” and Bryan would burst out laughing. It’s a bit like Courtney and “bear suit.”

Unfortunately, I just realized that story probably wasn’t nearly as funny to anyone who wasn’t there. But I’m telling it anyway. So take that, establishment!

Today I think we might be going to see some butterflies!

♫ Antony and the Johnsons - Fistful Of Love

Bryan and I will be getting up at 0Dark:30 in the morning to fly to Boston. We’re going to visit the fabulous Jeremiah Cohick, star of commercials and perhaps your dreams as well. It depends on who you are and what you like, doesn’t it! As with most things. Ah, observations about life are FUN!

Speaking of things to like, Antony and the Johnsons [iTMS] are pretty much blowing my mind lately. Be warned though: you’re either going to love or hate Antony’s voice. It’s not quite like anything I’ve ever heard — in the best way possible. You can hunt down some free Antony mp3s over at their record label. Also, Mr. Myke. has been kind enough to post the live XFM session.

I don’t know why I called him Mr. Myke — it just seemed appropriate!

As Bryan said, hopefully we’ll come back with lots of pictures. However, since Bryan hates pictures, he’ll probably run away from most of them. I’ll work on my ninja pirate stealth picture taking and uploading though! Once I do that, I’ll also have to work on my ninja pirate stealth wrath of Bryan evading. Stay tuned to see if I survive.

Did you notice how I said Jeremiah was the star of commericals? Well, maybe I’m from the future. The future where Jeremiah has stared in more than one commercial. That’s right. Now you’re all “Woah, man, stop! You’re blowing my MIND.” Well, try and pull yourself together. The future’s not all that exciting. It’s just like the present, only with more Jeremiah. And, for some bizarre reason, more cheese. Those future people are just crazy about the cheese.

♫ Antony and the Johnsons - Cripple And The Starfish

Just a reminder to make sure you’re either logged in to nanovivid.com or reading through your LiveJournal friends page. Otherwise you might be missing some entries, such as the rather hilarious one I posted this past week.

Also, it’s still snowing. And tomorrow it’s going to be 50°. God. This weather needs to figure things out.

Oh, and this is my 500th entry. Neat!

♫ Elkland - We Share A Heart

One of my friends recently emailed me about a cute boy that came into the store at which she works. Unfortunately, he appeared to have a girlfriend. This was my reply:

Ok, here’s the solution. Lure the girlfriend into the back room with the promise of additional exclusive merchandise that aren’t available to the general public. Then you get her into a large box, because I’m sure you have plenty of those lying around. Sedate her, and tape the box up good and tight. You might want to put some food and water in there with her too. It might not hurt to put this box inside another and then another, because after all, it’s only cardboard. Even if it was wood, like a coffin or something, she might go all Uma Thurman on it and get out anyway. I know, when you heard me mention a cardboard box, you were all “a coffin would be so much better!” but see, it’s really not worth the extra effort. Once she’s all taken care of, you go back out and erase the cute boy’s memory so he doesn’t know that he ever had a girlfriend. Then you charm him and ask him out. Voila! Instant boyfriend, with minimum effort.

Yes, yes. Thank you. I’m already fully aware of the brilliance of my advice.

♫ Elkland - It's Not Your Fault