nanovivid

One of my friends recently emailed me about a cute boy that came into the store at which she works. Unfortunately, he appeared to have a girlfriend. This was my reply:

Ok, here’s the solution. Lure the girlfriend into the back room with the promise of additional exclusive merchandise that aren’t available to the general public. Then you get her into a large box, because I’m sure you have plenty of those lying around. Sedate her, and tape the box up good and tight. You might want to put some food and water in there with her too. It might not hurt to put this box inside another and then another, because after all, it’s only cardboard. Even if it was wood, like a coffin or something, she might go all Uma Thurman on it and get out anyway. I know, when you heard me mention a cardboard box, you were all “a coffin would be so much better!” but see, it’s really not worth the extra effort. Once she’s all taken care of, you go back out and erase the cute boy’s memory so he doesn’t know that he ever had a girlfriend. Then you charm him and ask him out. Voila! Instant boyfriend, with minimum effort.

Yes, yes. Thank you. I’m already fully aware of the brilliance of my advice.

♫ Elkland - It's Not Your Fault