Battle of the Centrury: Torgo vs. Trogdor
April 9th, 2004 • Randomness
It’s a true clash of the titans! Two of the most feared and revered monsters of our time battle to the death. Who should you root for? Just use this handy guide to our contestants’ attributes and decide for yourself.
Torgo The “monster” from “Manos” the Hands of Fate, Torgo’s most distinctive feature is his large knees.
Strengths: Torgo’s haunting theme has been known to drive his enemies insane. He also can keep opponents distracted with his very slow and distinctive manner of speech. The staff he carries can be used to bludgeon his adversaries, though he has never been seen to use it for much other than walking.
Weaknesses: Torgo is not known for being quick on his feet. In fact, his large knees cause him to wobble more than walk or run. He also was killed at the end of “Manos”… but we’ll ignore that. Maybe he’s a zombie now (which would probably be a strength).
For more on Torgo (and I know you want to know more), here is a wealth of information.
Trogdor Trogdor was a man… I mean, he was a dragon-man… or maybe he was just a dragon. But he was still TROGDOR!
Strengths: Trogdor’s main offensive weapon is that of burnination. Though he has mostly been known to burninate the countryside and the peasants in their thatch-roofed cottages, I’m sure he could use his burnination against any foe he chose. Trogdor is also a wingaling dragon, which probably means he can fly, and he has a big beefy arm that he could most likely use to smite anyone who annoyed him.
Weaknesses: In my opinion, Trogdor looks a little top heavy. Seriously, I think a bit of a stiff breeze would make it hard for him to stand up. What with that beefy arm coming out of the back of his neck and his little tiny legs, he probably doesn’t have the best balance in the world.
Showdown Who do you think would win in this epic battle? Would Torgo drive Trogdor out of his mind using the haunting theme and then crush Trogdor using his knees? Or would Trogdor smite and burninate Torgo from here to next Wednesday? Only you can decide! (Hm, that makes me think of those choose your own adventure books… “If Torgo wins, turn to page 32. If Trogdor wins, turn to page 57. If it’s a tie, go back and re-read this page and realize that a tie is not an option. This is to the death.)
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abigail
April 9th, 2004 at 10:53 am
trogdor would win hands down. i mean hes got burnination AND that beefy arm [for good measure].
Twisted Ivory
April 9th, 2004 at 1:02 pm
Tough call, that. After having witnessed the epics of both Torgo and Trogdor, I have to conclude that Trogdor would win. I mean, seriously. Trogdor may be top-heavy, but it's not as if the contest is a foot-race. Furthermore, Trogdor has clearly demonstrated his aptitude at burnination while Torgo has pretty much only demonstrated his capability of being burninated (did you know that he actually had cloven feet?).
In addition, Torgo roams the countryside of El Paso, if I remember correctly, and Trogdor has wings — thus indicating at least the potential of flight. How could Trogdor lose with the ability to sweep down upon his hobbled prey and burninate him into a chiaroscuro (bad joke)?
Yeah, my vote's on the dragon. Well, the dragon-man, at least.
matthew
April 12th, 2004 at 3:24 am
Torgo would sooo win. He's creepy enough to creep out the other guy… thereby winning by default.
greg
April 12th, 2004 at 9:30 am
After re-reading the page several times, I have come to the conclusion that we need more information.
The first thing we must consider is which monster has first-strike capability. Both of them have their vulnerabilities, and given the deadliness of burnination and theme-induced insanity, the first strike may be the last.
How does Torgo play his theme? Trogdor's theme seems to come from nowhere, and although it cannot even think of competing with the hauntiness of Torgo's insanity music. What Trogdor might have going for him is his insanely loud theme, which may be able to mask Torgo's. If Torgo is unable to boost the volume of his music, he will most likely fall to burnination.
Scez
July 18th, 2005 at 10:24 pm
Trogdor's gotta win this — his burnination comes swiftly and without mercy. Zombie or not, I think the other guy is gonna be charcoal, because I don't think Trogdor has any ears to hear the annoying theme with.
Tafoogal
April 29th, 2006 at 8:42 am
Trogdor will burninate it all!!!! I will bet my bottom, no, my bottom dollar Trogdor will obliviate Torgo. I also agree with Scez & greg. TROGDOR!!!! TROGDOR!!!!