nanovivid

So I’m leaving tomorrow morning at 8am for Atlanta. This should all be very interesting, seeing as how I’m not sure I’d call myself a christian any more and I’m going to be running the character generator to display the words for all the lovely praise songs that will be sung. I’m definitely a bit nervous about how I’m going to handle everything and how I’ll feel about it all. I think the last time I went to church was graduation-ish… about two months ago, and here I’m going to be dunked headfirst into a week of… what? I don’t know. At least I’m going with the film crew rather than a church group. Plus, Ney, Lynley, and Jenni will all be around somewhere, so I’ll have some of my peeps. But it’s all going to be very… interesting.

I decided to take my own advice and bleach the tips of my hair, so I’m in the process of doing that now. While I was browsing through my iTunes looking for hair-bleaching music, I sort of rediscovered Happy by Sheri Shaw. Mmmm… I love this song.

you steal a glimpse but you’re all i see
i make you squirm but you make me bleed
you lose some breath but i pass out
you wonder if but i have no doubt

‘cause i’d be happy
happy to be with you…

I’m not sure what my connectivity is going to be like over the next week, so my updates may be a bit more sporadic. Here’s some listening to keep you entertained. Time for me to go pack. Muah!

♫ Sheri Shaw - Happy

Last Sat before Scott and Tina’s wedding while I was buying their card, I picked up some new hair stuff. And I like it. It’s called Hair Pudding (hehe, I like that name) and it lets me do fun messy spiky stuff. I ought to tip my hair again… it would definitely look good.

You know what else looks good? My room! I totally kicked the collective arses of those piles of clothes. So except for some random to-do piles of papers, it’s pretty dang clean… such a nice feeling. Having things fairly clean has let me do a lot of reading without feeling like there were other things I should be doing.

Friday night and yesterday I read Ender’s Shadow and today I’ve read most of Shadow of the Hegemon. It’s been way too long since I’ve done fun reading like this, and I’m really enjoying it.

It’s been a bit since I’ve done a music update, so, um, here it is. Recently I’ve been repeating some Aaron Sprinkle stuff quite a bit. A Friend I Once Had is excellent, and you can get Not About To and Genevieve from my site (but who knows how long they’ll stay there, so hurry up :-). Earlier this week I bought And So It Goes by Billy Joel. What an amazing (sad/hopeful) song. Read the lyrics here (I’d post it, but it was an iTMS purchase and I don’t feel like taking the time to convert it to mp3). Also taking up considerable playlist time has been Röyksopp’s Melody A.M. album. Such a gorgeous piece of work. Eple, Poor Leno, and Remind Me are definite gems.

Finally, I thought I’d mention that Dan now has a blog and his first two entries have of course been very… Dan (that’s a good thing :-). Oh, and Dave and Adam have both redesigned their journals recently, and both are looking good (though Dave needs to create some content).

Time to go back to my book. :-)

♫ Node - Reflux

A little bit ago, Adam and I did a one-way video chat thanks to the magic of iChat AV and his iSight. Now that I’ve seen the quality firsthand, I am so definitely going to order an iSight once I get back from Atlanta. Video chat is a lot more fun when it works both ways.

Speaking of iChat… remember how I ranted about missing buddy groups? Well, I decided to really give iChat a chance… and I don’t think I could go back to the official AIM client now. Using a chat program that feels like it was actually written for OS X instead of just a sloppy adaptation is great. I still miss buddy groups a little, and reading other users’ away messages can be a little yucky if they’re long. But I think I’ll be sticking with iChat for the most part until Adium 2 is released.

I think I’m like the ideal switcher (even though I really switched from BeOS more than Windows). Within a month I bought an AirPort Extreme base station, a 17” PowerBook, and an iPod (well, the ‘Pod was a graduation present, but still)… and now I’m going to get an iSight. Apple must love me.

♫ Godspeed You Black Emperor! - Part 3 (Untitled)

Of course, this Friday night was exciting like always. I read. But it’s a good book, so it’s worth it. I’ve gotten a good way into Ender’s Shadow (by Orson Scott Card), and I’m definitely enjoying it. I guess summers are my times for reading the Ender books, because last summer I read Ender’s Game for the first time (yes, I know, shame on me for not reading it sooner).

Speaking of reading, go read Just call me Merlin. It’s beautiful, sad, and poignant.

Sorry I don’t have more to talk about tonight. Feel free to create your own entertainment by leaving a comment.

♫ 1 Mile North - In 1983 He Loved To Fly

I was doing some thinking recently about my direction in life, and I understood with new clarity at least part of why I’m lacking direction lately. Back in high school, my family started attending a nondenominational charismatic church (along with having a lot of other similar influences around me). There was a lot of "end times" theology flying around, and somewhere along the line I got it into my head that there was very little chance of me actually reaching adulthood. In fact, I was pretty dang sure that the world was going to end before I finished high school. I remember the pastor of that church saying with absolute certainty that "The full day of darkness will be here by the year 2000." Now, I have no idea what the hell that really means, but after we passed the millennium with nary a peep from the antichrist, I really started to get suspicious.

As I got into my later college years, I wasn’t really believing the whole end times philosophy quite so much any more, but it was there in the back of my mind. Thus, the feeling of not needing to make long-term goals or plans for my life persisted. It was much easier to just float along like I always had rather than examine the direction my life was going, especially if it wasn’t going to be a very long one. Seriously… why plan for the future if there isn’t going to be one?

If you read back through my journal, you’ll see that the past six months have brought some pretty significant changes in the way I view and interact with the world. Along with that, I’m not sure when the world is going to end. I’ve definitely learned to be very wary of anyone claiming to know.

Still, this leaves me with a mindset of non-planning that I need to address. It looks like there’s going to be a future after all, and I need to engage it, not just let it slip by.

♫ U2 - Until The End Of The World

Apple released the iSight yesterday and after Adam’s post about his that he just got, I think I’m sold. I was already thinking about getting an iBot but for fifty dollars money more I can get a better quality (and much sexier looking) cam… yeah, that sounds good. If you’re lucky, look for the nanocam™ to show up on here sometime next month.

Martha and I had a really great time tonight at the Little Grill getting all caught up on each others’ lives. I ought to hang out with her more often. She’s good people.

♫ Antidote - ADVantidote

The WWDC keynote today was oh-so-very w00t. Though I’m not planning to get one, the new Power Macs are pretty neat, and Panther is looking good. <rant>I downloaded the new iChat AV beta in hopes that buddy groups had been added, and they have… kinda. Only they suck. You have to choose what combination of groups you want to see and then iChat throws them all together on your buddy list. Thanks but no thanks. This is the biggest thing that keeps me from using iChat. I want to like it, but I miss my buddy groups too much. Hopefully Adium 2 will come to my rescue… whenever it’s released. Please, somebody save me from the full-featured-but-poorly-optimized hell that is the official AIM client for OS X.</rant>

Saturday after Scott and Tina’s wedding (which went well, btw), a bunch of us went to see The Hulk. I thought it was a fairly decent movie. More than anything, I enjoyed the look of the movie — transitions between scenes were awesome, with the panel effects and cool editing. The story definitely dragged at some points and the plot wasn’t all that original, but as a summer comic book movie, I generally liked it.

Andy [I’m not sure why I even bother linking his site anymore since he never updates] and I just finished watching Godzilla, King of the Monsters. Yay giant monster movies!

♫ Björk - Venus As A Boy

Today, I bring you "Things I’ve Never Done." Some of these I hope to do someday, some I don’t care about, and some I hope to never do.

• Gone skydiving. I think this would be an absolutely amazing experience.
• Been in a car accident. As much fun as this sounds…
• Eaten sushi. I like trying new food. And sushi sounds interesting.
• Kissed. I don’t mean kissed-my-mom kissed. I mean really kissed. I’ve also never dated. You’d think someone as good looking and wonderful as me would have had all kinds of dating and kissing experience. Well, notsomuch. But I’m also not sure that’s totally a bad thing.
• Learned to play an instrument well. Sure, I can play the guitar a little, but I’m not good at it.
• Been to Oregon. I have a bunch of Oregon friends who think it’s the best place in the world. So maybe I should find out for myself someday.
• Used illegal drugs. Yep.
• Watched HBO. That could be because I’ve never lived anywhere that had it.
• Gone to a rave. You’d think as much as I’m into electronic music I would have been. But you’d be wrong.
• Gotten a parking ticket. That’s not to say I haven’t gotten a ticket at all.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this edition of "Things I’ve Never Done." Tune in next show (if there is a next show) for more random information about me.

♫ Hybrid - DJ Set At Soma (2002-04-13)

Today will be the third wedding I’ve been to this summer, but the first one I’ve ever been in. It’ll be fun, I guess. I got Scott and Tina this great card… it’s an intuitions card and on the front there’s a picture of a bride and groom’s arms handcuffed together. Then inside it says knew you two were up to something kinky. I definitely couldn’t resist that.

After the wedding we’re hopefully going to go see The Hulk since the original plans with m.yo didn’t work out yesterday. That was what led to my Friday night coding binge.

Ok, I need to get tux’d up. No, that that Tux.

♫ Dashboard Confessional - Standard Lines

Ryan’s entry from tonight struck a chord with me. I’m often finding myself feeling similarly. In my current place in life, I can’t totally be me. I’m confined by… expectations, job, the place I live. It’s not that I’m unhappy though. Just… I wonder if there’s more. If by submitting to the boundaries set around me (whether by myself or others) I’m making myself less than I am. Hm. There’s a lot of vague thoughts floating around in my head at the moment.

I’m feeling very meh right now.

♫ Sigur Rós - Von