nanovivid

We have a place to live! On Tuesday we signed the lease for the apartment and we’ll be moving in May. Ahhh… personal space.

The beginning of the week was eating-out-alicious. Monday for lunch was Bravo’s (where we learned exciting Italian phrases in the bathroom), Tuesday lunch was Jalisco (where Dan tried to order the "Super Burrito"… which doesn’t exist), and Tuesday night was a Burgers ‘n Bandits funado. Great fun was had at all events.

Last night I stopped by Dave’s to wish him a happy birthday and ended up talking for a few hours, which was really really good. We talked a lot about different aspects of relationships, which is something that has been on my mind.

I’ve been realizing lately just how much it is pumped into our minds from all directions, sometimes intentionally and sometimes not, that if we find the right person, then everything is going to be perfect. From fairy tales to movies, we hear the same "happily ever after" stories. There is also sometimes pressure from friends and relatives to "find someone," as if that should be one of the major goals of life. Yet looking around, I see so many people trapped in unhappy relationships or bouncing from one to the next looking for the right person. This isn’t to say that marriage is no good or that all dating relationships suck, because I’m sure it’s an amazing feeling to have that special someone. I’m just becoming more aware of how easy it is to fall into thinking that I can’t be complete without finding the "right person." Maybe they would make me more complete but the more I think about it the more I believe that contentment in singleness is a very important step to being able to have deep and meaningful relationships with others.

That brings me to my next thought and another subject Dave and I spent some time with — intimacy. It is so important to me that I have a few people with whom I can be transparent and intimate. I think my life would hold a lot less meaning without these relationships. Another aspect of intimacy we discussed was wondering how well married people do in maintaining intimacy. When I really think about it, the idea of committing to spend the rest of my life with a particular person is sort of odd to me. I guess it’s partially that marriage is such a commitment, but also that I can’t think of any person with whom I would definitely want to spend the rest of my life. There are people I’d enjoy being around for an extended period, but planning my whole life around another person seems very… dare I say limiting? I know there’s a lot to be said for commitment, but it just seems foreign to me. Maybe I’m destined to be single, who knows. :-)

More thoughts tonight about faith, and what my faith (or lack thereof) is based on. I’ve been finding it so much easier to make things up as I go along from my experience rather than trying to make the bible or what a preacher tells me fit my experience. And I’m not sure how I feel about that. Man, this journey thing is confusing sometimes! Yet for all the confusion, I feel pretty good about where I am right now. So that’s something.

Oh oh oh… new Joy Electric song! (I Am) Made From The Wires is classic Joy E, yet at the same time moves forward into some new territory. Yay Joy Electric!

Have a wonderful rest of the week. I’m going to my parents’ on Friday, so I probably won’t write again until at least Sat. or Sun.

♫ Sigur Rós - Leit Af Lifi